Travel | X-Ray Introductions

Ok. So I officially fail at keeping up with my blog.

WARNING: This post is ridiculously long. Read if you want. If you don’t, I won’t be offended.

Chapter 1: Heading west.

I guess I left off when I was in the LA area visiting Jezebelle and M. Well, the last post was in their adorable home, but I didn’t really elaborate too much. Hmm lets see. I stayed there for a week. It was really really really nice to see them. Ate a lot of good food, did a lot of crotcheting, saw a lot of cool things, got brain damage from Six Flags, did touristy things in LA. OH AAAND we went to Pleasure Chest and lots of exciting things happened there. I got carded three times in the store by three different employees. It never gets old.We attended a Bondage 101 class by Midori, where we learned the brilliance of scarves (you can use them for EVERYTHING!!) and that she was a lovely, funny person. They’ve got a really nice set up there at Pleasure Chest. The staff there were knowledgeable and friendly (when not carding young boys) and they had a wide variety of products. Not one bit sketchy. Seems like right after I got there, I had to hop on a Greyhound once again (I swear, I practically live on those things) and head off to my next destination.

Chapter 2: Pleasant Hill really is pleasant.

For the last month and a half (minus the week of Oregon) I’ve been staying in Pleasant Hill, CA with a long long long time friend (C) and her family. It’s a little weird being back to the state of having a family. Like, you know, a mom and dad and brother and sister thing. But it’s slightly comforting, to be honest. I’ve basically been adopted (without all the legal stuff) and so now I have a little brother and a (technically by 6 months) little sister (who I’ve dated… so that’s odd). But yeah, we do all this family stuff that I’ve never done before like big ol’ church camping trips, dinner at the table, working out at the gym, civil conversations, and the like.

OH speaking of camping! We went up to Mt. Tam where Muir Woods are and it was absolutely beautiful, like the kind of beauty that makes one cry, and we went on a 12 mile hike up and down the mountain to a beach and slept in a redwood forest. My friend C and I thought it would be good to camp in places that weren’t actually in the campsite. The first night it was fine and dandy and bathed in moonlight blah blah blah, but the second night was a different story. We found this little grove of trees and were hunkering down to go to sleep when all of a sudden we hear this growling noise. “Was that your stomach?” I asked, because C has a notoriously loud belly. And of course, it wasn’t her stomach. Then out of the darkness (about five-ten feet away) we hear this growl/cough/loudscarynoise. We had been warned about how there were potential mountain lions in the area, so basically we ran as fast as we could. C lost her glasses and I dropped (but then later found my phone. We slept in a tent the rest of the night. Shaken up was kind of an understatement. First thing I did when we got home was look up the sound of a mountain lion. It wasn’t a mountain lion, it was a bobcat. Big difference, just as scary.

Anyway, seeing as I didn’t get torn to shreds, I can give you a brief history of C and our past stuff. We met in 7th grade, she was the first out queer person I met (and that scared me to death). In 10th grade I told her I might like girls, and in 11th grade we tried to date, but I kept backing out because I was too afraid. Blah. Blah. We’ll be living in the same house starting in September, which is very exciting. Exciting because: there is a tree house, there is a garden, unlimited cookies, there is a pie restaurant nearby, etc. Hell, I’m moving to Oakland!

There’s more to say but I can’t even think how to say it right now.

Chapter 3: Oregon?

Wow. Oregon. What? I randomly had an urge to go to Portland one day, so I did. I took a Greyhound up there and bummed around for a little while. There was this awesome 24 hour pie restaurant (thanks Kenna!) and a hell of a lot of homeless people that I befriended. Originally, I thought it would be a good idea to hitchhike back. It turned out to be 110 degrees outside. Woo. So, I hopped out on I-5 and made a little sign and all that jazz. A few people stopped to see if I was ok. Then I got stopped by a State Trooper. For a minute I thought he was going to arrest me, but he just wanted to check on me because someone called in saying that there was a 12 year old out on the interstate. He was very nice and told me to be careful and then left. I got off the road to go get more water and to pee and stuff, when I saw some train tracks. Automatically, I thought it would be smarter to hop a train. But no. The train didn’t come. I made friends with this homeless guy who lived under the overpass. His name was Johnny and we talked about life for a while and he told me to be a prostitute and then he gave me a sleeping bag and then I took off on the road again. By that point, I had walked about 10 miles and gotten really sunburnt. Good times. Then this guy and his son picked me up. They said they could get me to Salem and I said that would be lovely. They ended up letting me sleep on their couch in their really fancy house. I had a shower (they offered their jacuzzi, too, but I declined) and food and wow everything was so nice. They definitely did NOT believe my age, and they definitely didn’t catch on that I wasn’t a boy. What? Really guys? The next day, they dropped me off in Salem and I decided it would be best to take a Greyhound instead of hitchhiking more, because it was still 110 degrees.

So I hopped on the bus and went down to see Amber and M.They are lovely, lovely, lovely people. It’s always really nice to put a face/personality to my internet friends. Nothing kinky or overly extraordinary happened, but it was a good time none the less. M and I discussed gender stuff and transitioning whatnot for a while, which is always interesting, ya know, getting other people’s viewpoints and experiences. But yeah, it was awfully nice of them to let me stay for a bit. Thanks guys.

Greyhounded back here. Have had many adventures since. Whee.

Chapter 4: “it” and other business.

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Chapter 5: The East.

On the 24th I’ll be going back east to retrieve my belongings and to see people for the last time. Happy and sad all mushed together. One of my old friends is taking over my room in VA and that is good. He should fit in quite nicely there. But yeah, I’ll be driving back across the country with a former roommate who is moving to Olympia, WA (watch out Kyle). So that works out magically. I won’t have to mail as much stuff and I’ll get to travel. It’s all kind of falling together. Win. Win.

The plane leaves in about 17 hours. My dad is taking me to the airport after lunch (and probably a shot or two). I dunno. I guess I’m just really nervous about the whole flying thing. There’s always this little voice in the back of my head saying “planes crash all the time and you’ll be really high up in the air going really fast etc.” But it will be fine. It will.

Oh yeah and if you’d like to sponsor me for the San Francisco AIDS walk, please do.

So fucking excited to see people I love and have adventures. All of that makes up for the anxiety.

Also, some thoughts.
I’m a little concerned about denial and being a creature of habit. The idea of being label-less and genderqueer and stuff is all well and good, but sometimes I feel like that might just be my brain in denial. I mean it took me 6-7 years to even come close to admitting that I was interested in women (or whoever). Maybe this is my denial phase of being trans. I don’t even know. I guess I’d just like something in my life to be concrete. Everything is always up in the air. Always dysphoric. Can’t explain any right now. More later…