Anxiety. Yeah.

The plane leaves in about 17 hours. My dad is taking me to the airport after lunch (and probably a shot or two). I dunno. I guess I’m just really nervous about the whole flying thing. There’s always this little voice in the back of my head saying “planes crash all the time and you’ll be really high up in the air going really fast etc.” But it will be fine. It will.

Oh yeah and if you’d like to sponsor me for the San Francisco AIDS walk, please do.

So fucking excited to see people I love and have adventures. All of that makes up for the anxiety.

Also, some thoughts.
I’m a little concerned about denial and being a creature of habit. The idea of being label-less and genderqueer and stuff is all well and good, but sometimes I feel like that might just be my brain in denial. I mean it took me 6-7 years to even come close to admitting that I was interested in women (or whoever). Maybe this is my denial phase of being trans. I don’t even know. I guess I’d just like something in my life to be concrete. Everything is always up in the air. Always dysphoric. Can’t explain any right now. More later…

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