Thank you Jiz Lee for making the best contest ever. I’m working on it right NOW!!!
“Describe a ‘Sexy Dork Moment’ from your experience, and share as much as you like about it.”
Oh HEY! Pick me! I’m super dorky!!
Ok, I’m not going to lie about this one. Basically any occurrence in my sex life has been and will continue to be dorky and awkward. There’s just no other way to be. Its hard to pick a single event, but definitely one of my top favorites is the first time I wore a strap-on.
My girlfriend had been taunting me for weeks by sending pictures of herself in her new harness (long distance is a tease). Sexy. Not dorky, right? Finally I got the chance to go see her. Maybe five minutes after I arrived, we were in her room. She whips out her harness from a drawer and wants me to put it on. I kind of stare at this giant leather bondage spider thing, wondering where all the straps went, where to put my leg, etc. She has to help me. I’m slow. Can’t help it. After about five minutes of fidgeting with it, it is very securely on my body. Oh yeah, and then I danced around in it. Step one: complete! Next came the cock. Big, purple, shiny, kind of awkward in itself. For a second I imagined that it fell off of some unfortunate man of the same color. Poor guy. But then my mind snapped back to the task at hand. I had to get it in the harness. Simple enough. Two snaps and an o-ring later, it was in place. Another dance for victory. It bounced around with me. I couldn’t stop laughing at it. I kinda batted it around, jumped some more, made some “boing” sound effects. Step two: complete? Still giggling a bit, I remembered that I was supposed to use this for fucking… oh right… Well I guess I’ll spare you all the rest, but in the end it was a super dorky good time.
For more info go here.
On another note, I applied at Target and Barnes & Noble today. My new goal is apply for two jobs every day this week. I’m sure someone will hire me…